


gray areas (and expectations)

by floatingtrash



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Gyuhao, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, based on Minghao's dream, for like two seconds, i suck at tagging srsly, jihoon is only there, non-au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 16:44:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11063028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floatingtrash/pseuds/floatingtrash
Summary: Minghao dreams that Mingyu died. He may or may not be more affected than he should be.





	gray areas (and expectations)

**Author's Note:**

> this was initially a project for english wherein we had to write a narrative and hell yeah I got away with submitting a fanfic 
> 
> my first fic on AO3 so please bear with me ;v; any criticisms are accepted! also this was kinda rushed when it was first written and I never got around to editing it so forgive me please
> 
> and yes, the title is from Troye Sivan's Talk Me Down because who's a Troye Sivan trash ;__;

 

A sudden coldness enveloped his body and he was left shivering. He succumbed to the voice calling him, drawing him in, pulling him away from the thin line that separated dreams and reality. He woke up to wide eyes desperately searching for his and strong gentle arms shaking him awake. 

He was panting as if he had ran a hundred miles, and his eyes were aching from lack of sleep and something else, it was painful and irritating, so he closed them. As he did, torturous images from the previous dream filled his mind. It was so vivid he could almost believe it was real. His best friend's deadweight on his thin arms, cold body covered in crimson, eyes wide open, but devoid of that signature misvhievous glint, something he could only describe as lifeless. It was like a horrible 4D movie playing inside his head, and it was too much, all too much for him to handle. But then he opened his eyes, and there was the other's face in front of him, slightly illuminated by the moonlight seeping through the open window. It had made the other's features soft, almost ethereal, and so much alive. Relief takes the best of him. 

He started sobbing.

Not the soft, graceful sobbing, but rather the harsh and ugly kind. The I-am-a-five-year-that-got-his-candy-stolen sobbing. For a split second, he worried about waking up the other people in the room. He hadn't cried like this since forever, not even when he was shipped to a foreign country without knowing the language and worked his ass off just to become a lesser-known member of a large group. But tonight, he let it all go. He cried like he never ever had, like it was his last chance to do so. 

Mingyu tensed up in surprise over the sudden outburst of the younger Chinese boy in front of him. It was the first time he saw the other ever lose his composure. He pulled the boy close by his arms and enveloped his lithe body in a warm hug. He rubbed gentle, comforting circles onto the other's back and that was all the encouragement the other needed to bawl his eyes out. 

They must've spent the next thirty minutes like that, Minghao's head buried in Mingyu's shoulder that was now wet with the other's snot and tears. By the time they pulled apart, Minghao's eyes are thick and puffy and his desperate sobbing ceased to hiccups. Mingyu found it funny and adorable at the same time and he almost giggles like a fool at the sight, but considering the circumstances, he opted to bite his lips and look at the other in concern, lest he wanted to get his ass wushu-ed. Besides, there was something magical right there in that moment, and he's afraid he might break the spell if he did something out of the blue. Minghao looks vulnerable in front of him, in stark contrast to his usual  aloof, self-kempt and snarky persona. He couldn't help his desire to make whoever that made his Minghao cry like that instantly meet Jesus.

They scooted farther on the bottom bunk bed so that they were both leaning against the wall. Minghao was still shaking from the intensity of his outburst, but at least he wasn't crying anymore. Mingyu bit his lower lip, contemplating whether he should break the silence to ask the other what was wrong but before he could arrive on a decision, Minghao already did it for him. 

"I had a nightmare."

Mingyu nodded, understanding. "Do you want to talk about it?" The other boy didn't answer for a good minute. Mingyu was about to take his silence as a sign of no, but then the other boy started to speak up again, this time, his voice was considerably smaller and Mingyu was afraid he would burst to tears again.

"I-I-I dreamt that you died."

Mingyu's eyes shot in surprise to the boy beside him. The other had his eyes trained downcast, and although it was relatively dark, he could still make out the blush that was staining the other boy's cheeks. Mingyu's heart swelled with love for the other and he can't help the stupid grin that was eating his face. He pulled him by the arm and maneuvered them so that they were lying on the bed, Minghao's face on Mingyu's broad chest, their legs a tangled mess. Mingyu's arms were wrapped on the other boy's torso, holding him closer than possible, and Minghao could barely breathe with his face all pressed up against Mingyu's body. He pushed Mingyu away slightly, just enough for a breathing space. Mingyu almost pouted at this, he felt as if the other boy was denying him, but was quickly sated when felt the other's lithe arms wrapping delicately around his waist. Their body heat combined was a little too warm, but instead of being uncomfortable, they were the most comfortable than they had ever been. Minghao looked up at Mingyu's sculpted face, only to find out he was staring at him too. Mingyu smiled his trademark canine-baring smile at him, and Minghao felt like the whole room could light up with it. There was something about that smile that made Minghao's world soften around the edges, and his stomach to get infested with those damn butterflies, though with how violent they were fluttering, he could safely say they were most likely killer moths. 

Staring at each other's eyes, they could feel their hearts beating a little too fast, and if they listen closely enough, they could hear it, almost mechanical. Mingyu's smile faltered a bit, and they didn't even notice they were doing it, but they started to lean even closer to each other, could feel their breaths warm against each other's faces. 

Minghao was the one to pull away, breaking whatever trance they were in. Mingyu was left blinking, as if he just got out of a hypnosis. It wasn't the first time it happened, but as fast as it appeared, it was gone, and Minghao always had to be the bigger person whenever it did. They both knew there was something more, something they could not talk about just yet, but something that has been hanging in the air between them ever since. It was something that could lead to hundred different failed endings, something that was better left unsaid.

So they did what they always did, whenever they get too close for comfort, whenever they get that different glint in their eyes, whenever their stares got a little too intense and their smiles a little too wide.  They laughed. It was almost like a routine. Or a talisman. It was a little too loud and obnoxious and so obviously fake. Because they're cowards. Because they're too scared to find out what will happen. Because they were idiots and would rather leave their feelings in the dark. 

An audible cursing was heard from across the room and a pillow was thrown in their direction, most probably from Jihoon, luckily missing them and hitting the floor instead. They winced and took it as their cue to shut up. Eventually, their breathing slowly evened out, and just as Minghao was slipping away, Mingyu called him.

 "Hao?" 

It was tentative, almost as if he didn't want Minghao to hear him at all. He hummed in response, sleep clouding his brain, but was doing his best to stay awake, to hear what the other had to say.

"I would never go anywhere." 

Minghao smiled, already drifting off but managing to whisper. "I know."

Then he was swept away to a realm where Minghao could be Minghao and Mingyu could be Mingyu, where there were no boundaries between them, where he didn't need to bury his feelings away. 

        He missed those three words whispered to his ear. 

 


End file.
